Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
