Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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