summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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