i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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