This dress was meant to end up on your floor
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
