Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
