dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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