he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
