i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
