did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
