its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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