I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
