ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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