can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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