I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize