I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize