I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
