If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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