This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
