I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
