he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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