fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
