I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
