My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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