hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Randomize
