I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
