her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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