scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My vagina just clenched in fear
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
