right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
