Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
