there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
