Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
