I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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