lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We need to rekindle our bromance
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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