I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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