Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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