I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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