I wish you could order shots online.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
