Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
