I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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