am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
