Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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