Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
