So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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