She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
