took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
