Kiss
Puke
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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