i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
