My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
