If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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