Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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