ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
