You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
