could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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