What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
