Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
