I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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